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What is grace? How do we keep people from abusing it?
Grace is a form of love. It’s a humbling act that allows those who we have perceived to have pained us an act of mercy, forgiveness, and understanding. I know in my own life I have hurt those I love and have experienced first hand what grace feels like after I persevered with a long desire to reconnect and rebuild trust. Likewise, I have extended the same. I have the moto of taking nothing personally. Every insistence is an opportunity of self reflection and a stretching of my heart to allow the grace to pour in when I feel hurt by an injustice done by those I care for. A perceived pain (however long endured) can build animosity towards people. This can disrupt the mind and cause us to act in ways that are unjust and not conducive to a life well lived and loved.
When I extend grace it is with the understanding that the action (or lack thereof) has been done due to ignorance. Maybe the person has never been shown how to love and was themselves unaware of another option. What a gift it is to give someone that option. To bring awareness and love to them. The hope is for reciprocity. But sometimes that never comes. In my own life that is when distance is given- the vast awareness that can come from space is oftentimes helpful for those who truly want to be in relation with you. The hope should be reconnection but sometimes that distance leads to more space and a relationship lost. In those cases it’s best to hope for happiness in their new ventures and yours.
Love does not keep score. So if the broken relationship should come back we should welcome it. After time and proven change the space will no longer be needed. If you should find yourself in this circumstance don’t forget the value of patience, wisdom, and protection. It is ok to give it time and slowly unfold things to see how it goes. In addition, don’t forget to give your heart the space it may need to let go of the pain and grudges and meet people where they are with a bit of lowered expectations once you see their hearts desires in action. I let people down and don’t meet their expectations which used to cause me great grief. People have their own lives, needs, and experiences as well though. You can’t be everything to everyone and people may let you down if that is your heart's expectation. It’s about community and listening to one another's needs and bandwidth. It’s about collaboration and not invalidating each other but proceeding with kindness, peace, gentleness, goodness, joy, faithfulness, and love. In my upcoming posts I look forward to diving into each of these concepts a bit more deeply.
As a side note I wanted to acknowledge that my understanding has come through my relationship with God and my desire to understand our faith history through the Bible. I understand the religious trauma and how it can impact our lives. But note I will never impose my beliefs on another, rather just acknowledge and pay thanks to God for my own.
Written by Amy Cornett
Amy is a spiritual life coach currently accepting clients who want to gain a better understanding of their life and ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Currently booking sessions here: https://amylynschorr.wixsite.com/spirituallifecoach or clicking the link below.
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